That Moment When Kids Realize Their Parents Aren’t Perfect!

If you’re the parent of a preteen girl, you need to listen up because your idyllic world is about to change! This particular discussion relates to events in Enchantment Book 3 in the Maagy Series. It begins with King Henry arranging the perfect surprise breakfast in bed for Maagy’s sixteenth birthday; a day that will change her life forever.

Within the first eight pages, King Henry blows up Maagy’s world, when he finally tells her the truth about what really happened to her mother. This has been Maagy’s biggest mystery.

Worse yet, she realizes that her father has not been entirely truthful with her; not that he’s told her lies, but that he’s NOT told her the whole truth. In her mind, he’s lied. Now, this isn’t a new concept. As parents, we often withhold information from our kids to protect them. This is what King Henry did, and he’s going to pay dearly for it.

As parents, especially single parents, you are everything to your small children. You are Protector, Knight in Shining Armor; a soft cushion to fall on when the world pushes them down. You are a superhero!

However, when children reach adolescence, you know what I’m talking about. the big P. PUBERTY. they begin to realize that you. the most perfect person (s) in the world. are not really so perfect. You’re real human beings. with flaws. You’re capable of mistakes. You have a whole life of experience that they know nothing about. It’s unnerving. seeing the person you’ve looked up to since birth. as something different than you’ve always thought them to be.

A good example of this: Let’s say you and your partner can no longer be a couple. You divorce. Amicably or bitterly, it’s still divorce. The kids go back and forth, even in the best of situations, where you try to lessen the impact by working together in the best interest of the kids. It works for a while until they hit about eleven or twelve. Suddenly, you’re dealing with young minds who are constantly questioning everything around them.

This is what adolescence is all about. The very nature of puberty is that everything gets darker and more dramatic. Those nasty hormones coursing through their immature bodies and even more immature minds are creating havoc in your once precious babies. especially if those babies are female. oh lord help you! The mothership comes in the night and steals your perfect little princesses and leaves in their places replicas that are evil personified! It’s their natural way of finding their own voices. asserting their autonomy. It’s necessary for them to go through these changes in order to become adults who make good decisions. Rather ironic, isn’t it?

Okay, so now they start asking questions about WHY you got divorced. The “Mommy and Daddy still love each other but we just can’t live together," doesn’t cut it anymore. They’ve heard rumors in the family, seen a few things that make them wonder. Then the bomb drops!

Let’s say. one of you had an affair! Now BOTH of you are liars in the eyes. Neither of you was straight with them. In your judgment, you were only trying to protect them from the ugly truth. You reason that there is no good in destroying the other partner in the eyes of the children. The parent/child relationship is different from the parent/parent relationship, so why seek to destroy their bond by dumping the ugly truth on kids’ immature heads and hearts? The person who committed the offense is so ashamed that you can’t bring yourself to admit it and look bad to your kids.

You were both only trying to do what was best. This is all very understandable adult reasoning. People make mistakes. People fall out of love. Things happen. but not PARENTS! Parents are supposed to be perfect!

In their juvenile minds, you’re both liars. They still live in the world of cut and dry, black and white, right or wrong. They say they hate you both. they don’t. They say they’ll never speak to you again. they will. if for nothing more than to ask more probing questions so they can watch your face and detect deception. or they want the keys to the car. No worries. even in the worst of situations, if parents really try and work at it, it’s possible to get past these hurdles.

This is what happens to Maagy. Over the course of the first two books Just Maagy and Krispen, which span three years from ages thirteen to sixteen, she has grown up and sees her once-perfect daddy as a real person. Their relationship is strained to the breaking point. Maagy is asserting her will as never before, but he no longer placates her every whim. The arguments are intense, however, they find a sort of tacit détente. Then, he takes her to the East Tower and reveals the ugly truth about her mother’s death and she takes hold of the sapphire crystal. Maagy is angry. She is sad. She is disappointed, disillusioned, confused, but mostly she is angry.

Welcome to adulthood, Maagy. Things are no longer black or white, as they were in childhood. Things are not always pancakes with whipped cream and spumoni ice cream for breakfast.

These revelations thrust Maagy onto a path she never imagined. again not unlike any other teen who finds out some bitter truth or life-altering revelation. And let’s face it, she makes the choices she does mostly out of pure spite at King Henry.

Isn’t this one of the biggest reasons teens today act out? They defy the rules to prove they’re big enough and bad enough to make their own choices. It’s all part of the process; it’s all part of the natural evolution of childish innocence testing the waters of daring and informed adulthood.

Our task as parents is to weather the storm of emotions, spite, and angst, and hope like hell our pubescent spawn are holding on to enough of their childish innocence. and have heard enough of the sage advice we’ve given them. to make it through these murky waters and emerge on the other side alive and without a criminal record.

Buckle up, King Henry and preteen parents! You’re in for a ride!

Thanks so much for stopping by and giving a read. Until next time, this is VBS author of TMS saying enjoy the adventure and keep reading!

Ready to read more? Check out our blog post on the importance of coming of age stories about girls here.

Begin your adventure with Maagy by getting your copy of the book here.

Contented Pedant By Virginia Burton Stringer

November 18, 2019

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